Sexual Harrassment of students

One day you wake up in the morning to the news - of agony, of immense brutality, and  example set by man ( not human or mankind but literally - the male counterpart - MAN ) of setting foot backwards to the primitive age, yet, who is more savage, more better equipped technically, with more derogatory idea about how an woman can be (mis)handled with the enormous porn videos streaming across the internet portal, and that too - free of cost.

The case of MP birla or GD birla or for that matter, any school which has such incidents occurring - reported or unreported, is indeed shocking for the entire nation.

If a place like that of school, where one sends their kids to be imparted with education, is rather taught to be mere dolls of satisfaction of the adult whims,
where, even kids who might not even have known the difference between gender in the way grown up society at large defines it,
where even the word "SEX", might be oblivious to them, are rather put into action, where they might not at all know the realms of pain and pleasure.
And, these beasts are still left loose - for our system to "Debate" on the course of punishment, oops, rather action if any, that might be taken.

But, amidst everything, shouldn't we ask ourselves - who is the real culprit.

NO, these kids are not at all the culprit, nor should be held guilty. But, if we consider our day-to-day activities, how many times do we think we actually take action to address these severe issues.

Well, being an ordinary citizen of India, I feel, I am still a blessed person - owed to being born in a well to do family. But, a deep dark curse lulls over me - of being a lady myself. And, despite the fact that there is almost nothing which I cannot afford to own and my lifestyle has granted me that I take my car wherever I travel to and also have other people handle many external issues, at par with an upper middle class society, often by chance or sometimes for the sake of my research or  at times just for the sake of experiencing the life of many people in the city, I put on the coat of a typical middle class girl and travel along the various journeys my life takes me through.

Here is a short list of what I have collected from these experiences -

1. A taxi driver might be uneducated. But, because you are a lady, he knows he can put up the macho - man image, give you enormous free tips, and even make exorbitant claims from you. He might not be skilled enough to avoid his taxi from suffering a crash with another vehicle paving down the road. However, he is skilled and confident enough to suggest in teaching you a lesson. He is a man after all, and you are a girl - an inferior stuff.
If it's an app cab driver, the harassment is no less different.
Sit in an auto, and unfortunately, sit beside the driver in the front seat due to lack of space in the back seat, a huge queue behind you, and hurry to reach your destination. You are left at the driver's mercy to take 'advantage' or not. Do not have a change. Wow! its a perfect combination of trouble and harassment.
Your journey seems to end like a great Big Boss brawl. Only if these could be telecast live, what a publicity would have been garnered.


2. Stand in a bus or metro. And, thankfully it is crowded. Ah! you are indeed in a man's fantasy land. You stand balancing yourself somehow, and there someone seems to have lost all voluntary control over their anatomy. A push here, a shove there and what not. And, if somehow, someone can have a "touch" of "those areas which make men swoon over", what an achievement indeed it seems for them. And, here, most of the people are not uneducated spoiled lot. Look at them, they are dressed perfectly like a gentleman, with sober faces, yet, with such evil hearts.

3. The delivery boys who come up at your place. Be it for gas cylinder delivery, be it for furniture or electronics that you buy, well, why should they not have their fair share. They can't get up to you, true. They have many protocols levied on them. But, they can of course charge you whatever amount they fancy. And, why wouldn't they. You would try to guard your hard earned money. And, they would face an argumentative female ( not Indian), whom they can at the end "warn of bitter consequences".

And, these are exactly what one hears when one tries o raise their voice:

1.  Being a girl, how can you so shameless to raise your voice. The country might be democratic, the women are not. Even if something happens - you are supposed to shut your mouth. Learn to bear. Women shouldn't be such hot-tempered. Such impatience doesn't suit the feminine gender.

2. Beware! you are a girl. Do not put up an argument, never hurt the male ego. If nothing can be done, when you take to the streets, they would strip your reputation ( literally rape you equivalent to defaming you ). Even if you are right, be quiet. They are men, after all.

3. It's not happening with you, why are you bothered for the other girl. She might be involved with them. Let that be. Just ignore. Do not invite trouble for yourself.

4. Madame! why did you at all have to take up this particular bus / metro / auto. You could have waited till we all men have our joyride. You might get late, but you are an woman after all. Wherever you go, you carry 'several unseen benefits' with you. Offer them. Why do you want to be at par with us. Can you ever match up with us - even our biology sets us apart, with you the receiver and we the giver.

Looking at the above, all I can say, the message that is propagated - willingly or unwillingly is that - women can be exploited. And, hence, we are made vulnerable. Even if we are capable, time and again we have proved our mettle, our species might be producing - Sunitha Williams, Kalpana Chawla, Mithali Raj, Alia Bhat, The Phogat Sisters, The Bollywood Divas, PV Sindhu, Manushi Chillar, Agatha Christie, Indra Nooyi, Nirmala Sitharaman, Shubhangi Swarup, to name a few, our role is still confined to that of kitchen, household and most important - 'bed', with all sorts of stigma attached to it.

And, when those people who set themselves as the flagbearers of the society, why shouldn't others follow suit. If gurmeet ram rahim insaan could grant maafi, why cannot other men do the same, for all the crime committed by women - the biggest is being women. 

Well, the trauma doesn't end there - the stigma of non-acceptance intensifies it, and further indulges the guilty. Going back to our school case, why is it that something which has been happening for quite a while took so long to being exposed. The biggest reason - victim shaming. This silly, absurd yet a vague society induced fear holds us back from accepting - and reporting the crime. And, the criminal somehow knows it. He warns us - to tarnish our reputation, and keeps playing with our bodies. Heinous cycle, isn't it.

Well, what has happened has happened. Let us strive for a new beginning instead. Here are some tips to be kept in mind while you are at school or college, for the sake of your and others safety:

1. Never allow anybody come closer to you beyond a certain distance of your choice. If you feel uncomfortable at any gesture, do not hesitate to voice your opinion. If the other person is indeed your well wisher, he / she would definitely respect your choice.
2. Never remain alone in the bus. Take initiative and know well in advance, if you would be the last person to be dropped. In that case, try to adjust your stoppage with the nearest one to your home, where the last person with you would be getting down. Inform your parents, and have them accompany you.
3. Remember - your parents are your greatest assets and your best friends, even if they might scold you or have a tiff with you. They might rebuke you, but they would lay down their life before letting you be injured. Hence, share everything with them. Because they have crossed their days as a student, they have experienced a variety of human reactions and emotions. True indeed that technology is advancing, and might lack behind in terms of the latest gadget knowledge, but they never lack in identifying human motives, which still is pretty primitive.
4. Never go alone accompanying anyone - any staff or any teacher of opposite gender without a genuine cause. And, in case you have to, because of several reasons, be alert at the first signs of danger. Often, fleeing first, fighting next is the best course of action in these cases.
5. In the even of any mishap, never delay in informing your parents first. In case the target is not you, encourage your friend to report it instead of hiding. Hiding would encourage repetition of such acts. And, never ever take the route of suicide due to this. Life never ends with it.And never be afraid. Be bold enough, and show that you can fight back.
6. Talk to your parents, and persuade your school authorities to allow mobile phone or any communicable devices to be there with you. Of course, people might argue over this, but, have a simple calling texting phone is going to help you, rather than harming you. And, these are priced fairly low. Atleast, your parents can keep abreast of your whereabouts.

In case of parents, this piece is for you - In any case, never break down, as your ward can keep up her / his courage better if they see you strong. It requires a lot of psychological counseling to revive after such an ordeal, and all they need is your moral support, do provide this to them. And, never ever accuse your children of having - "invited",  such condemnable act, as nobody ever wants to be severely injured. And, never hesitate to register a complain and never give in to the 'compromises' offered, as these are never going to help anyone. Treat the criminal as guilty and not the victim.

Stay tuned for my next article. Till then, stay safe, stay healthy, stay happy.