How to be safe on Online Dating Platforms
Dear Chai buddies! Welcome back.
So, Valentine's is just around the corner. Have you met your date yet! While some may enjoy their single lives, others may vigorously look for a date online. And it's not surprising or new. These days we practically live our lives online. So, dating online is pretty much the trend than an alien concept.
However, with India making so much progress - both in terms of overall economic growth and in its production abilities ;p (we are the world's most populated country), I guess it's time to rethink and remind some of the rules of being safe while dating online. It's to ensure that even if you have a break of heart, you still have a roof over your head to cry underneath and some bank balance for mood shopping!
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| Pic by: Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels. It's free to use. Thanks for the freebie! |
So let's begin.
1. Do Not Share your pin for GPay.
If your match on Tinder or Bumble desires to send you money online for buying a gift of your choice; uses GPay for it and asks you to share your OTP; then please do not do so. OTPs are for sending money and not receiving money. Got it!
2. Do Not Accept a Gift without understanding its contents first.
A kind of fraud has emerged these days and here is how it goes. Suppose you met someone online and the person seeks to send you some gifts. Or say you even met with your match in person and now they want to gift you something for V-day. Before accepting it, please make sure to see what they are. As sometimes, they may contain dr*gs or illegal substances. And this might be bait to drag you into their con gang. So, be suspicious and thank me later.
3. Do not give out your address that easily.
Unless you are too desperate for a stalker and find it cool to mess up your already spoiled life further; please do not share your address with the match very soon. It is a good idea to take your sweet time. And patience is bitter but the wait is worth it.
4. Use a different phone number for dating.
Do not use the phone number you use for UPI and banking transactions on dating apps. Keep the two profiles separate. You can wait to share the details with your husband. But the world doesn't need to know your personal life so much. Or does it? Think about it!
5. Do not fall for the AI trap.
These days it's quite possible to have virtual assistants manage a social media handle containing AI-generated photos. So, just making sure that person has an active social media profile containing updated information isn't enough. Check Check and cross-check. Look for credible & verifiable details like where the person's workplace; gym memberships; club memberships etc. And cross-check them before making a decision.
6. Do not share all of your own social media either.
It is necessary if you do not wish your current match turned-ex-turned-stalker to find out where and with whom you are currently.
7. Meet at public places and inform someone.
It is a good idea to actually meet your person in Public. And by Public, the idea is like in a café, a restaurant, or a very popular marketplace with a lot of crowds. It doesn't include - inside someone's car in a public place; after 7PM (max 9); inside some closed shop; or any place where the person can get instant control over you and you are cut off from public view.
And please inform someone responsible and close your whereabouts like where you are going to, and with whom, and share your route details.
Also - if you meet at a bar; don't be talli and get into their car. Be sober enough to be able to carry yourself back home all by yourself.
8. No downloads of files.
If your match wants to share some files with you under the pretext of sharing images; be extra careful. These might be malicious corrupted files that can not only harm your device but also leak your personal information.
9. Use a different photograph for dating apps.
Now, you may not photoshop yourself to look like Selena Gomez; Jena Ortega, or Alia Bhatt. Since you are looking for genuine matches; you want to be genuine as well (up to a certain level at least!). But make sure to use a photo that's - you; without being you in your passport photo; bank photo; aadhar card (which of course you won't use unless you are auditioning for a horror movie); Facebook or LinkedIn.
Also, if you are active on Instagram and use it for both personal and professional reasons; it is a good idea to not use photos from there. Just make sure that even if the person uses Google Image search with your photo; he is unable to track important areas of your life (and possibly aim at your self-esteem) unless you want it and are ready for it!
10. Be a Mufaat - both off and online
Let's say things didn't go well between you both. You move on. But your match doesn't. And they are still harassing you. Take Brave steps to report them both - on dating platforms and off of it. There are laws made for the protection of children and especially women. This year, the 7th of February was celebrated as Safer Internet Day. The day calls for all stakeholders to join together in making the internet safer and better for all, mainly for children and young people. You can read through their resources to further educate yourself with empowering knowledge of online safety. Also reach out to local bodies like safety helpline numbers in your place for guidance and support.
India also has such protection laws in place. Strong and protective actions are taken by the police. The issue is - the victims fail to report the cases fearing societal stigma. But if you were brave enough to meet someone unknown online, be brave enough to stand up for your safety too. Don't let the perpetrator get away with harassing you. Show them - who's the boss.
11. Never send any money.
You do not want to be labeled as someone funding terror or anti-social activities. Or you do not want to lose all your hard-made savings to a trickster. So, if they seem to coerce you for money - never send any. Don't let them make an emotional fool out of you by giving out 20 rupees phool to you.
12. Do not accept eatables on your first meeting.
If you frequent the café, then it's okay to order something. But do keep your guard up. Unless you plan to fall in love with your kidnapper and enjoy the idea of being captive for the rest of your life, please do not accept any eatables offered to you. If you are meeting at a bar or pub, don't let your match bring drinks for you - unless you wish to be spiked by them!
So these are 12 tips to keep in mind before valentines and forever while dating online. Enjoy, share and have fun.
I will see you in my next.
Till then, take care. Stay safe.
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