Namaste, chai-buddies,
I'm Priya. The daughter of a household where - people dressed as women are the pillars. No, they're not the ones you see on street corners anymore, clapping and singing. Thanks to online education and the opportunities it brings, we've all found our paths. Some of us even speak multiple languages. We work in different fields, striving to make our mark. But despite our progress, our neighbour Shanta Aunty still sees fit to label us as "chakkas."
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| Design by me, Quote modified from Internet! |
I'm 10 years old, just like my friend Chintu, who attends a prestigious school. We're friends, but it's a secret. His father believes I'll contaminate him if I get too close. Ironically, I'm the one who helps Chintu with his homework after school so that he doesn't need expensive tuition. And I'm the top student in my school, winning district-level chess contests. My dream is to become an IAS officer when I grow up.
But life isn't easy for me. I'm treated as an untouchable, secluded writer for society. My classmates call me "dustbin" because I was adopted from one beside a railway track. I'm bullied and prevented from using the girls' or boys' toilets at school. There are no gender-neutral toilets. I have to endure or fight back. Other parents complained to the school authorities, saying I'd be a bad influence, but thankfully I wasn't expelled. I was just made to sit in a secluded corner of the classroom. Every day I hear that my karma in past life must have been heinous which made me a transgender in this lifetime. I hear taunts about being abandoned.
Every time we step out, whether it's to the market or just for a stroll, people pass derogatory comments. Some yell about not having change to throw at us or tell us not to come to their area.
I felt immense relief when I got to know that OLA and UBER would be more regular in my city. And I was delighted to have Swiggy, Zomato, and later Blinkit happening. We can order groceries and book cabs online, making life a bit easier. Pathkind lab tests can be ordered online helping us access health care facilities as well. With UPI payments, it has made things even easier for us. I am so happy about the booming digital economy.
But I still dream of entering shopping malls with my family and enjoying ourselves. Unfortunately, security staff tells us we aren't allowed, saying we'll spoil the atmosphere for others. I can only imagine what it would be like to be inside a mall one day.
Growing up in a transgender household in India isn't easy. We face judgment and discrimination, even in today's supposedly modern society. People like Shanta Aunty perpetuate stigma and prejudice against us. And what's even more hurtful - when our neighbours call out at my mother, asking her - 'When is she teaching me the skills of begging?'.
I am 10, but I do understand the pain my mother feels when they tell her that she didn't get a daughter from the dustbin, she got a beggar for her team. When they say - 'How would a person without a womb understand what is being a mother all about'. When she gets asked about me starting my 'dhandha'. And yet, hiding her tears, she says, even Yashoda was the mother of Krishna whom she didn't give birth. Many women cannot have babies. If they didn't become bad mothers, neither will she. Even if she is a Trans-mom.
My Mother is a teacher at a government school. She also works as a counselor and language trainer. Yet, I witness instances of people calling her 'gavaar' or 'disgusting illiterate', every day. And sadly, it comes from all strata of the society. Imagine had she not found me in the dustbin and adopted me years ago, where would I have been today? So, even if she begged for a living 10 years ago, I am glad that she did. A person like her - who is more woman than the women of my neighbour - found me. Despite her meagre resources, she had the heart to not let me be where my biological parents put me presumably sealing my fate. I would have never known what school is, never experienced the joy of learning, had it not been for my mom - my Transmom.
From accessing healthcare to finding employment, society's narrow-mindedness affects our opportunities and sense of belonging every day and in every way.
But despite the challenges, my family is my strength. Especially my mom. They've taught me resilience and courage. They've shown me that love knows no boundaries and that a mother's love transcends labels.
So, this Mother's Day in a changing and improving India, I celebrate my mom – not as a "trans-mom," but simply as my mom. She's the one who kisses my bruises and wipes away my tears. She's the one who cheers the loudest at my school performances and encourages my dreams.
It's time for people like Shanta Aunty to transform – to see beyond labels and embrace diversity. It's time to recognize that families like mine are just as loving and deserving of respect as any other.
Let's rise above prejudice and ignorance. Let's create a world where every child, regardless of their family background, can thrive and be proud of themselves.
To all the Priyas like me - you are special, and lovely, just like me! If someone tries to dampen your spirits and criticise your worth with their words, remind yourself that it's their pathetic problem of ignorance. It doesn't concern you. Sh!t will emit its characteristic smell no matter what. It can't emit fragrance of perfume because it doesn't have such quality. And it's meant to be washed away - do not let it sit and stink your life.
And to all the mom's as mine - thank you for being so brave, facing all odds and despite every challenge never leaving our hands.
With love - Happy Mother's Day.
Priya.
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